Clarity

2018 meant many things to many people.  For me, it was the year that I turned 50, which meant that it was a year of reflection.  For the first time, I celebrated– actually celebrated— my birthday month of July.  I bought t-shirts that announced my age and the year that I was born.  I reminded people that I had a big birthday coming up.  If I had been expecting black balloons and surprise parties, I would have been disappointed. Instead, I learned that celebrations are joyous and wonderful without parties and hooplah.  I found joy in the people around me, in my memories of the past 50 years, and in being a significant part of other people’s memories.

2018 was a year of discovery.

If you’ve seen television commercials or internet ads, you know that 2018 was the year of DNA results.  There were many websites offering DNA tests to help you shake the branches of your family tree.  I’ve been an amateur genealogist for several years, but I finally took a DNA test.  What an eye-opener!  I discovered that my paternal grandfather was not my biological grandparent at all.  Stay tuned for more on that subject.  When I figure out how to tell the story, I will share all with you.  Make no mistake… this was an amazing revelation for me.  I had mixed feelings in the beginning, but I have since embraced this mystery, and am wholeheartedly putting the pieces together.

In 2018, I learned more about love.  At age 50, I realized that I am married to a man who loves me more than I deserve.  I have found a partner in life who I would truly miss if the Lord ever decided to take him first.  In my 30s, I worried that I would never find true love– the kind that is reciprocal… love that happily consumes you both.   We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year.   I cannot find the words to explain how much I love my husband, and that makes me truly happy.

I worked a lot in 2018.  I’ve always considered myself to be somewhat lazy.  I’m definitely a procrastinator.  But I’ve worked two jobs for the past couple of years, and I’ve decided that I enjoy the extra money and the friendships I’ve made at my extra job.  I’m not sure what that says about me.  Working so much has also taught me to treasure my time off.  Tonight, I’m sitting in front of a cozy fire– watching college football with my husband while I type.

I am leaving 2018 with mostly good feelings.  In fact, I nearly made it to 2019 without any major disruptions or bad events.  However, my mother was recently diagnosed with cancer again.  Understandably, there are some feelings that I haven’t sorted through yet.  I’m sure they’ll be fodder for future blog posts.

So now I enter a new year with hope, anticipation, confidence, and contentment.  I look forward to whatever the year will bring.  I plan to move more, eat better, worship regularly, and show love more effectively.  I hope you had an incredible 2018 as well, and that you have expectations of a wonderful 2019!

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